Erika Nicole

The ability to conform words into something so beautiful and captivating is a gift from God. This gift allows us as the readers to allow each character to flow within our hearts, to give them a part of our soul. As I was introduced to Anne, I felt disconnected, because of our lack of similarities. Anne was loud, thoughtful, creative, as for me, I am quiet, sympathetic, respectful. However, I felt a deep emotional connection to the relationship between Anne and Marilla. How tender, how deep, how unchanging the love of a mother to her child, even though they were not bonded by blood, they bonded through their souls and through everything inside of them. As Marilla's unconditional love and joy for her child grew, my love and appreciation for those in my life flourished. There came a time in the book where Anne was moving away, and those emotions that never surfaced during the time of my leaving home welled up inside of me as if for years I had just stopped the flow of a rushing river, leaving it constrained and claustrophobic in it's own environment, and finally, it can be free. I was unaware of this homesickness I felt for my own family, for those relationships that I realized were so much more tender and developed to me than I realized. I was Anne, I am Anne, we are all able to connect with Anne in some way. I am not only willing but ready to give up all my life for my mother, because on May 3, 1996, she gave up everything for a small girl in her stomach. In reading these words, I felt as though God looked down on me, and for one small moment he gave me a glimpse of the greatest gift he ever gave to me, he let me feel what my mother felt for me.

I will never understand those who say they do not read, who say that they don't have time, or that it is not for them. For me, reading has allowed me to feel these emotions that I had to train myself to feel. Through these books the most important thing that I've learned is as follows: the world may teach you to forget, to forget how to feel, because when you forget how to feel, you are able to leave pain where it found you, to not be able to deal with the consequences of your choices, to forget that you have to deal with life, the ups and downs, the times where you would rather lie on the kitchen floor until you give up your last plea for air, until you forget who you are and what you have potential to do, the world will tell you to forget, and in order to allow yourself to thrive and to be happy even when you mess up and to love and to live, you need to feel. Do not allow yourself to forget to feel. Do not allow yourself to become numb to the relationships and the love around you. It may be hard to see it, as Marilla waited almost 17 years to tell Anne how much she cared about her, how much she needed Anne's sweet spirit and joy in her life. There is always someone out there who loves you that much, and if you can't find just one person, know that I love you, whoever you are, I love you more than you know. I hope you can find in your heart love for me too.

This week I have learned how live.

It's okay to change your mind and change your mind again.

It's okay to one day be a pre-law student and then the next to be a journalism major.

It's okay to love someone one day, and to love someone else the next.

It's okay to belong to something, and to be completely and utterly attached to that something until you cannot see anything else or believe in anything else, and then to change your mind.

It's okay.

I've learned how to live.

I've learned how to plan in the way of being open to change, whenever that change comes.

I've learned that change is good, change makes us better, change should not be avoided.

I've learned to be okay.

I am okay.

OVERPLANNING KILLS MAGIC

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